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The Doormat Effect

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What is the Doormat Effect?

The doormat effect occurs when an individual repeatedly displays behaviours that not only allow others to step over their boundaries, but invites them to. This can happen when an individual acts in a way that encourages others to "step on them and wipe off their dirty shoes".

This occurs when an invidual's boundaries are crossed with no consequence to the perpetrator. Someone who does not defend that which they value invites those who gain from putting others down. Stemming from a route of passiveness and inability to challenge a social behaviour that is to the detriment of an individual's wants, values and desires. Those who engage in doormat behaviour may escalate their own suffering by allowing social action to become social norm.

To identify those who engage in doormat behaviour ask yourself:

  • Are there social interactions that lead to their suffering? and

  • Do they actively engage in behaviours that seek to lessen said suffering?

If the answer is Yes to the first and No to the second, chances are they are engaging in doormat behaviour.

Inaction can be a lure

Similar to how an unguarded caravan of wheat invites highway men to raid it. The unguarded boundary act as a lure to those attracted to opportunistic gain. The only way to end the doormat effect is for the individual demonstrate that breaking their boundaries have consequences.